“Experience is not what happens to you; it’s what you do with what happens to you.” – Aldous Huxley
Another year will soon start. Lucky to have made it through this one. Huxley’s thought (above) is certainly what I feel tonight. This past week I’ve gone through a fascinating medical procedure (where the sedative didn’t do as I had expected…and so I had some experiences I had not forecast), and I’ve written more music (extended both Beings of Light and Darkness and my Dakini Dances). I want to focus on more music every day. So for the last day of this year I’m going to commit to focusing on writing new music that whole day. And on into whatever my future is. [Read more…]
My latest composition Beings of Light and Darkness is meant to suggest the conflicting information, processes and feelings of being diagnosed with cancer, going through chemo therapy and surgery, and recovering functionality. “Light” and “Dark” are used figuratively in describing events and feelings.
This recovery is a slow road. I thought I’d come out of surgery, have a few weeks with catheter as a pal, then I’d kind of teleport directly into health. Well that was “close,” but not exact. It’s a process of approximation. The important things get better, then something goes wrong (big bacterial infections, let’s say, like three times in four weeks, with high fever and inability to think clearly), then we clear that, then things get better. I’m in my 12th post-surgical week now. Then some other lesser thing pops up and cries for attention. 
Someone pointed out to me that at our core, each of us humans is a big tube, with a bunch of other systems hanging on the outside. Cake and apples and beer go in one end of the digestive system on a regular basis, and unsightly debris comes out the other on an irregular basis. There are other systems, of course, including nervous, circulatory, urinary, and respiratory systems (among others). But without nutrition, we don’t survive.
Starting to get some hair growing back this week. Lost 90% when going through that second round of chemotherapy. Today I shot this selfie which reminds me of the brutalist term as used in architecture.